You see them everywhere. Gorgeous men and women with perfectly chiseled abs. If only I could look like that you think. And it’s that last part you fail to question.
As I began my quest to gain a better body, I’d say I’m doing it for health reasons. Yeah right. It took me a solid year to admit it was for vanity.
Obtaining abs takes work. It requires sacrifice in the gym. Many hours. Many sessions. Adjustments to diet. Assuming you are doing it to get a good body, why would anyone pursue such a thing?
As man, being manly = getting women = self validation. When “manly men” in the media all have six pack abs, it’s an easy connection. Sexy women = more desirable to men. It works both ways.
It’s insecurity for sure. And that insecurity takes work. You can play the high horse route, sure, saying stupid vane people. But then you still will be bombarded 10 ways from Sunday saying this is the body type we as a society value. Do you really feel 100% secure with your couch potato body?
I’ve come to terms that much of me wanting a good body = me needing validation from others. (1) From women. I must be seen as desirable and attractive (2) From men. The “not being a pussy” stereotype still runs strong.
If I am going to feel insecure from not having a good body and feeling insecure from having a good body, the latter feels better. It’s a higher quality insecurity. One that I’ve learned to accept. My name is Kevin, I’m vane (which also has health benefits woohoo) and I’m ok with it.