RATING: 7/10…READ: March 15, 2011
While the Pickup Industry began on manipulative tactics and techniques, the Book of Pook’s focus was on yourself and your own masculinity. Part Male Self Development Guide / Part Philosophy, this book is a collection of posts from an anonymous Pook on So Sauve forum.
“Rejection is better than Regret”
Friendship- Abandon all hope ye who enter!
“Judge by actions, not by words.” —Judge by what she does than by what your mind wants to see. Our vanity will convert the image of every disinterested girl into secretly loving us (for women tell us what we want to hear). This is why we must judge by her actions and not by her words.”
“Patience is the refined sense of confidence.” It is the noisy guys that lack the skills. It is the large dogs that are quieter while the small dogs make up for their size with their obnoxious bark. It is the patient ones that control the world; the impatient ones are controlled by it!
“Trust the gut.” Nature has a system in place. No philosophy in the world can do you any good. The philosophies that supposedly ‘work’ are the ones that best match Nature’s music. You either can flow with the system and get what you want or you can buck it in pain. So LISTEN to that gut.
“You are the Great Catch.” The difference is simple,” said the Pook. “The first young man is facing TOWARDS infancy. The second young man is facing AWAY from infancy. The first one wishes to climb back into the womb; the second one wants to fly from it. The first wishes a cushioned place in the world while the second one leaves the cushions behind. The first one is ordinary; the second one is extraordinary. Thus, the second one becomes the Great Catch while the first one merely becomes a filler of a void.
“I see…” said the startled young man. “The second one is always getting better. The first one is always staying the same if not getting worse.”
“Exactly! It is the difference between ROTTING and RIPENING. Be the good fruit! Be the PRIZE to be won!”
“Respect is All.” Respect is the realization of set boundaries. After all, how can reverence become without any sense of fear (of you walking away!)? For true passion with women can only come when the man can easily walk away; the Great Catch walking away is woman’s Great Fear.” “The Great Catch is respect. She is supposed to celebrate life with you, not use you as a peon. Be a man and respect attends to itself.”
“Only the Sexual Ones get the girls.” “Women,” he said, “are entirely sexual creatures. They do not respond to your intellectualism. They do not respond to your genius. They only respond to sexuality.”
“Do you want to talk about DNA or genetics all day?” The young man laughed. “Of course not!”
“Then stop talking to her about DNA and genetics! Stop talking to her about GEEK things. You do not need another lab partner.”
“I want sex. I want a sexual relationship!”
“Then embrace your own sexuality. Be a guy, talk like a guy, act like a guy. Do action things. It is one thing to talk about things you love, but most guys talk about things just to talk.”
“Sexualize myself, my appearance, and my actions, and the women will naturally follow?”
Be not contained by formula. These guides and rules were a clutch for my lack of confidence. They do, however, work but are overall limited.” Then he smiled. “The rules and guides are the training wheels, the helper out of the nest.”
These are but a few of the Harsh Truths:
Women would rather share a successful man than be attached to a faithful loser.
Many women do not marry for love.
Most divorces end up with the guy cherishing the woman but the woman detesting the man.
Even for long-term marriage, the Don Juan is the way to go.
The ‘innocent, nice girl’ is often the horniest and likely uninnocent.
Many women consider your looks, your career, what you can offer them, before your integrity and character.
Women are more sexual than men can even dream.
Women are not attracted to genius, only strength and imagination
Woman’s sole mission is union, either for pleasure or the fruits of children.
She cares nothing for your philosophy and all except to either use it to catch interest in a guy or to enthrone herself.
Women, in sex, desire to be treated as an object and relish it.
Women place value in societal links; how they are thought of. You become her ego.
“As you think, you shall become.” He knew he was not Prince Charming so he did not act like one. But now he realized that Prince Charming is not the producer of the confidant thought; to the contrary, the confident thought is the producer of the Prince Charming. In order to be successful in the world, you must be successful in your mind.
“Women come and go, but YOU are forever. The focus must be on you. What do YOU want in a girl? What do YOU want to do for a date? What type of relationship are YOU looking for? It is a machine to the ONE. You push the button and out she comes.”
“But Pook! What if she does not like your date ideas? What if she is different from what you are looking for?”
“Then she is not for you! The thing girls hate is when you cannot have a date idea (which happens to guys because they want to please her without thinking of themselves). You have a series of hobbies and tastes. If she likes your date ideas, then that is good. If she doesn’t, then go get another girl. There are billions out there.”
You cannot be yourself without truthfully seeing yourself.
You cannot sacrifice character for joyfulness without ultimately destroying happiness.
You cannot control the situation, but you can control yourself, your emotions, and your life.
You cannot have women love you until you love yourself.
You cannot grasp the female nature until you grasp your male nature.
You cannot win her until you focus on her winning you.
You cannot obtain love by giving yours away for free.
You cannot fulfill your desire by letting it trump your integrity.
You cannot be yourself by denying your dreams and what it takes to achieve them.
“Getting a girl is not the success.” Most guys still think like women. They think that by sleeping with lots of women, by having a girlfriend, or by having a wife means they are successful with women.
The error is guys defining their success on having a woman or women. They should rather be concerned with having a woman that DOES actually like them.
When you aim at something long term, you need to make sure the woman like you. Just because she dates you, sleeps with you, and yes, even MARRIES you does not mean she likes you.”
“So what should I do?”
“You define what the dates are at first. She will work with you if she likes you. You can ‘soften’ up later like in a couple of months. If she starts breaking dates, giving you the run around, or seems INFLEXIBLE then that should be warning signs that she doesn’t like you.”
But what if you’re so awful at DJing that NO woman likes you?”
“Then you’ll have more free time with your buddies. Success cannot be getting a girl because that means failure is being alone. No. Failure is being in an unhappy marriage or a relationship where she has no true interest in you.”
“So the focus must be on you, including her interest?”
“Unite Dream and Day” women want you to live in your own world, to stop bending over to be spanked (and not in the good way), a willy billy translating into a tampon that every woman uses for her needs (emotional, physical, social, etc.). You are the equivalent of the woman doing whatever to please the men. Yes, the girl that is the smokehouse where every man does place his meat. You are the Magical Tampon where every woman does place in her.
All the things women want… confidence… humor… spontaneous… fun… These are all qualities of a MAN living out his imagination. Embrace your dreams! Stop trying to be ‘perfect’ in woman’s eyes for you’ll wrong the truest commandment with sexuality: Do not bore women.
Why do you let people mold and shape your life? Your life is going in circles because you cannot tear yourself from your loser friends or stupid entertainment. The difference between a Don Juan and a chump is the difference between a Man and a child. Make no mistake, the Don Juan world and the chump world are as different as heaven is to hell.
You see, sir, there was a time when this was known. Men strived and created a world of their own. They took what they wanted and asked questions later. They had designs on what they wanted to do in life and how to get there.
What we women despise the most is the broken male. It is the drifter, the Nice Guy, the chump who, when the focus of your energies is misplaced, production and energy are wasted and undone. Years of your life can pass by in this tragic manner. Or worse, when the focus becomes seen as something that it is not, the male becomes the Nice Guy, just as a dog becomes a sheepdog, provided Nature does not guide it to freedom.
The life of a Man is not to be coddled and guided. All men are called to be leaders, even if it is not to guide other men you are meant to guide your own household, protect it, and keep your wife and children from the paths of error, defending your fruits of Nature from the locusts and storms of Time.
“Charm is treating women like little girls.” He wondered, “Have women really CHANGED?” No, only in his mind. At heart, women are still little girls. So when he saw the luscious babe sitting there, he smiled and saw a bored little girl looking for fun. He would make fun of her, do physical action things with her, take her by the hand to lead her somewhere, and she thought he was the perfect guy.
When we were young, we all desired to grow up. Now, once grown up, we desire to be young again! Being poor, you trade your time and health for money, only to use that money for time and health. We have all passed through the world of a child.”
“Are you saying that I ought to be child-like?”
“Yes! Young kids, lacking the chemical madness curse that puberty brings us, are at PERFECT EASE and treat the sexes appropriately. No young boys will say, ‘Whatever you want to do.’ Young boys RUN AROUND, they do not sit and TALK to the girl all night. Young boys have their cars, their trucks, their dangers and excitements. Now, compare the young boys’ actions to those who are REALLY successful with women.”
The attitude you had towards girls when you were in the sandbox is EXACTLY the attitude you need now. So think young and LIVE.”
Always have a back-up chick! Nature has designed us to love in a marriage way when there is only one picture on that wall.”
“The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are ‘dating’ or ‘just friends’.”
When a guy decides to go dating and dates only ONE chick at a time, only one picture will appear on the wall. When there is only one, he is designed to think of her in a marriage way. So he starts becoming AFC with this girl he just talked to.”
“So say if a guy is socially unskilled and has only one friend that is a girl, only that girl’s picture will appear on the wall? And because of that, he will ‘fall in love’ with his friend?”
“Exactly! If there is only one f*ckbuddy, he will eventually want to ‘date’ the girl, want to become exclusive with her, and turn into a total AFC.”
“The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!” You can be the smartest person in the world, the most talented, the most persistent, but you will never win in the world or with women unless you embrace the glory of RISK.”
Everyone wants to define your life, to shape it to their ends. From politicians to your friends. Everything is all right as long as you stay you. But if you break out of the mold, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will try to stop you.”
It is not the victory that defines the Man, it is the fight. There are some people who somehow have this curse or bad luck and must eat an excrement sandwich everyday. They win everytime they struggle against that.”
Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful. The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter.
“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their
own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.
People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works.
So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.”
Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?”
The difference is all.
Orwell The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.
imitation is suicide. Our countless reading of seduction over the internet is full of months if not years. Where has this got you? Yes, you feel you are always right on the edge of THE SECRETS to end your heartaches and tensions but, at the end of the day, you are still in front of your computer.
Why do jerks approach women? To marry them? No! The jerk is operating not out of control with ‘that head down there’ but rather being influenced properly by his testosterone. He sees what he wants and goes and gets it. He does not apologize for it. He does not try to rationalize it. He does not analyze it. There are no stupid philosophies running around in the jerk’s head.
Constant rejection requires one of two solutions: either lower your standards or increase your standards in yourself.
The nice guy sees that fun is merely being around a beautiful woman. The jerk is a bit more… active. He wants to have fun his way. She is along for the ride.
It has been well known that action dates (ex: dancing, bowling, rock climbing, etc.) work MUCH BETTER than regular dates (coffee, dinner, movie, etc).
And why should you get any women?
Mind: “Because everyone else is, and I am not.”
Nature: “Because I am MALE and she is FEMALE.”
The longer a man tries to ignore the fact of my mission and cycle, the more pain and loneliness I will add into him until he has no choice to act.
The secret is to CONTROL the sexuality or else it will control you! The jerk is entirely controlled by it. The Nice Guy recoils from the abuses he sees in the jerk and becomes merely static on the woman’s radar.
To be a jerk in control of his sexuality is to cease being ‘jerk-like’. For Nature has set up this game of life we all play.
Nice guys vs. jerks isn’t the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the perfect “nice” thing that he will totally flub it. The “nice” one ends up stumbling away from the object of his desires with his tail caught between his legs … for those who don’t already realize, this is NOT the impression you want to make!
A jerk, on the other hand, appears to have been blessed with ability to approach anyone and say just what’s on his mind completely disregarding any of the repercussions. He just does it. I have no clue how he does it. But DAMN, the man who has the confidence to accomplish that has caught my eye for the night whether he wants it or not!
What does this say? She is saying: “Stop trying to say the perfect thing!” This was why I left ‘Seduction’ behind and gone the Natural route. It is more fun, less headaches, and gets better effects.
Women are powerfully attracted to guys who are open with their sexuality, thus the jerks win.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Pook, I can’t act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON’T have tons of women after me.” This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are the Great Catch, THINK that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women). When you think you are the Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.
You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does the Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.
Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and the Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don’t worry, “My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?” They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.
Don’t be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are the Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.
You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be ‘nice’ in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and the Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.
Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a ‘nice guy’.
Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.
When you think yourself as The Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, the Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll be among the stars.
So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life ‘complete’. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.
THEREFORE, guys shouldn’t ‘hit on’ girls. (Guys hit on girls because they are needy. Change your thinking and you cease to be needy, and you’ll naturally stop hitting on girls.)
I think it is best to treat a chick, no matter how hot and steamy she is, no matter how cute and perfect, as a guy. The only exception is don’t talk technical stuff with them like you would with a guy (computers, cars, how to lay chicks, etc.) They will LOVE this. With the girls I like, I talk about THEM and they become more and more attracted to me because guys do not do this.
That is how I used my non-aggressiveness to my advantage. It can be excellent for creating attraction (in some situations). Problem is that you have to turn it off eventually and GO FOR HER. (And you KNOW that she will say, “YES! Oh, this is the luckiest day of my life!” because you think are Prince Charming. It becomes a self- fullfilling prophecy.)
“But Pook! I enjoy sitting in front of my computer all day and don’t like ‘action dates’.” Learn to like them. Look, are you even living? There are brilliant things out there to enjoy and do. What are you wasting your youth on? Sitting in front of the computer?
Logic is to this universe as feeling/conversation is to Womaniverse. The woman thought, “Typical male!” and went off to find a WORTHIER recipient.
Do you want to get rid of your shyness? You’re going to have to open up and get out of your solitary shell. Sure, you can deploy ‘tactics’ and ‘maneuvers’ and turn women into a piece of mathematical equation. But in the end, you are still in your
same shy philosophy-obsessed world. You just destroyed her and turned her into a part of a ‘philosophy’ to absorb.
Instead of dehumanizing the woman, why not humanize yourself?
Sexuality Problem #5: Lack of Experience “No experience, no job! No job, no experience! It is like that with women!”
Oh, foolish lad! She doesn’t care if you are still running on VIRGIN or not. The only problem is that if YOU have a problem with it. Some guys worry about their experience, worry about stupid labels. “I am still a VIRGIN though!” So what? Despite what the movies portray, sex is not life. If you have a problem with it, it is guaranteed that SHE will. Stop worrying!
Sexuality is not a ‘philosophy’ to learn, it is more like a ‘dance’. Some males get it, others don’t. Do not demand philosophies of sexuality; you’ll only end up destroying it. And if you ask for a theory to create another ‘philosophy’ to be stacked in a bookish format to further continue your ego as A Great Thinker, consider yourself chained to this website forever.
Embrace your sexuality and embrace life!
People think eye contact is simply staring into someone else’s eyes. It isn’t. Eye contact is displaying your desire into her eyes.
The next step is to see if the conversation is flowing. Is she laughing? Is she lust drunk?. She should be giggling like a little girl, with her eyes caught into yours.
Do the DeAngelo test of brushing her hair with your fingers. If she’s suspectible to this, kiss her. If she likes that, keep kissing her then slowly move around her face, kinoing the back of her head, her arms, wherever, and keep the desire up. Do NOT let it go.
In order for the girl to melt, there needs to be a fire. The fire in your eyes. The fire in your lips. The fire in your touch.
This is how a woman wants to feel. It is in this moment, she feels truly female for she has been desired and is now being acted on.
There is a reason why women have a fantasy of being in a crowded room and a guy locking eye contact with them. Is it eye contact? No, it is his DESIRE at her. She LOVES being desired. Oh heavens, it makes her feel like a woman.
Beautiful innocent women’s role in Nature is to be desired and not desiring. So next time you are with that girl, let it all out in your eyes and watch what happens.
The ‘DESIRELESS’ is to be NOT NEEDY. You WANT her but do not NEED her. It is a big difference.
DESPERATE guys need a girl to ‘complete themselves’ to ‘make themselves feel happy’. I say these guys got it BACKWARD. They ought to complete themselves and make themselves happy THEN go for the chicks.
It wasn’t that the guy was scared of rejection. He was scared of success!
“Pook! What do you mean? Why be scared of success?”
Because if she said yes, he didn’t know WHERE TO GO. What should they do? He had no idea.
This is why, before you can start to date women, you must be able to DATE YOURSELF! That’s right, DATE YOURSELF. Try going out to these places by yourself or with your friends first. This will:
-Make you more comfortable: You already know the place, are comfortable with it, and know what to expect. This is important since when you are with a girl and new to it all, it is enough for the shy guy to be out with the girl let alone in a new and strange place. This will make your job a lot easier.
NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too
You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality.
Kino is a GREAT way to test their interest. Girls that don’t like you, or find you neutral, will not like you touching them.
Usually when I kino a girl, it is very subtle. Everyone else in the universe thinks it is innocent. However, if a girl believes that you are being friendly versus liking her, she will choose to think that you like her. Thus, any kino is interpreted as LIKING HER.
Whatever you do, DO NOT KINO girls that you are not interested in. I have done this and these girls obsessed about me to the end. One planned out our marriage and all. Kino is THAT powerful.
It is men that create the barriers. If men would embrace their own sexuality (dress better, be athletic, act like a man, exercise the muscles, etc.), then women WILL jump you.
The excitement comes FROM YOU. If she is experiencing anxiety, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Women are reflective in nature.
GO IN HAPPY and she will be happy. GO IN NERVOUS and she will be nervous and unhappy.
One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness
1) Go for the number, go for the date. (Guys should not flirt. Women flirt. The job of guys is to ask for the number and to call for the date. This cuts through all women’s games.)
2) Don’t talk about yourself! (Focus the conversation on her or on her interests. Only mention things about you if they are the same: “Yes, I think the same about parrots being evil too.” So many women have said that I’m a ‘mystery’. “Is this good?” “Yes” This is because when I do comment on myself, it is very vague and general. I keep my mouth shut. Also, you come across as a good listener. A good listener is the most sexiest trait a guy can have.)
3) Demand respect! (She may not give you her company, she may not give you her affection, but she should always, and I mean always, give you her respect. Women will not stay with guys they don’t respect, and you wouldn’t want to be with a woman that didn’t respect you anyway.)
4) Don’t be afraid to disagree. (This runs contrary to Speed Seduction. No, do not seek disagreements. If possible, try to bypass them. But never be afraid to disagree. Women want guys who have a mind of their own.)
5) Women are never the priority. (Your life is more important. Women take a backseat to your passions and hobbies. Failure to do this makes you desperate.)
To those guys plagued with an icy fear on what to do when dating and all, they should date themselves. Literally try taking yourself out. What would you do? What is the plan? The focus is fun. If usual dates don’t come to your liking, then choose what YOU want to do
But YOU are the focus. As Anti-Dump always said, she MUST like your date ideas. If she says no, then oh well! If she does, then you two like doing the same things together! Dating is a machine to cycle through all the chicks and get you the one that fits. It is not a bending over backward to please the girl and ‘woo’ her.
Have fun! To hell with formulas and rules. As long as I have fun, what does it matter if she rejects me or not? I think, “Well, she doesn’t know how to have fun!”
Focus on having fun then on avoiding the pain of rejection or loneliness. The carrot is more attractive to her then the stick.
Quit taking this so seriously! These are GIRLS. GIRLS! What are they going to do to you? Beat you up?
You like having fun, right? Then do it! Be playful. Be crazy. Do what makes YOU have fun, and see if she’ll go along for the ride.
No more nervousness! No more shyness! Those originate in you worrying how you will be percieved. Rather, everything is in how you perceive yourself.
This makes the difference.
The Nice Guy mythologizes the woman. He turns her into a goddess.
The Don Juan mythologizes himself. He turns himself into a demi-god.
People always ridiculed me because I placed so much emphasis on what is going on in your MIND. But that is where the battle is. Start thinking sexual, even if you aren’t changing your BEHAVIOR or doing any TACTICS, and women will respond differently.
No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life. Your romantic life is an
echo of your regular life.
YOU are the MAN! For if you don’t STAND for something, you shall FALL for everything!
“The thought of sex turn me to stone!” No wonder you stand there, gazing at your Medusa in such manner. Keep things in their proper spheres. When you go to talk to a woman, focus on the talking. When you go to date the woman, focus on the date. When you go to sleep with the woman… well…
Ooh la la!
The secret to interesting people is that they find interest in almost everything. What do YOU do? Sit and surf the Internet? No, remember the order of Live, Laugh, and Love. 99% of problems come from people mixing up the order, going for Laugh before Live, or Love before Laugh. Instead of focusing on girls to get a life, get a life and love will attend to itself.
Women would prefer talking to anyone than be alone. So she will be receptive to you talking to her.
But how do you display your interest in her? With a sonnet? With a pick-up line? No, keep talking to her but channel your interest through your eyes.
Most women will notice your eye contact. (Remember, women love the eyes for a reason. The reason we know why is because that is where they first detect male desire.) They will think, “this is different. This guy is keeping eye contact.” Most males are too scared. So she will keep the eye contact and keep talking to you, as you have already touched something within her.
Eye contact is very important. You DO NOT stop it. You do not look gazingly into her eyes and then stop later on. You keep it up, displaying your desire for her, and you keep staring into her eyes even during intercourse (girls love it when guys stare at their eyes during sex for a reason. Why? Because female satisfaction is influenced by male desire. Sleep with her without looking at her eyes, she will feel used. If you’ve watched lesbians make love, you will find them constantly staring into each other’s eyes.)
I used to think that by asking about her you are ‘attracting her’ by showing you are unselfish in the conversation. This is totally untrue. You are being ENTIRELY selfish because you want to get to know her. You are evaluating her. Why do you do this? BECAUSE YOU WANT HER.
By NOT asking about her, you will lose because you will not be thinking, “I want her” but rather, “I want her to want me!”.
To be male is to WANT, to be female is to be WANTED. Yes, girls go herd like after a guy but that is female competition, not true male attraction. When you REALLY WANT a girl, you will want to know everything about them: what their hobbies are, what are their plans for the future, what is their shoe size is, whether they can digest asparagus properly, these things you want to know.
TOUCH: If you feel it in your gut, do it! If you do not have “Ooh la la” in your head, you will do something completely off. So touch her when you think you should, kiss here when you think you should, and so on.
When you say you don’t have women, you are choosing it.
“This is cruel,” he whispered. But it is the truth. You know you can go out right now and get a girl. The girl might be a fat hag, but nevertheless, she is a girl. You CHOOSE to not go for the fat hag and decide that you are worth more.
Loneliness isn’t some cruel conspiracy from Nature; it is your choice. So you have chosen not to be with the ugly fat women.
Now that you have acknowledged that you choose the beautiful women, it means you think they are right for you. Even though you might be a skinny socially insecure dork, you believe you have inside you what it takes to get the beautiful woman.
So you must go out and demo it to reality. Nature says, “You silly little dork! Who are you to think that you can get my lovely nymphs, the beautiful women?” The proper response is: “I will show you who I really am!”
And one by one you become yourself, you reconnect all your dreams to the day. You don’t bulk up because women ‘like’ big guys. You do it because that is how you see yourself. You don’t become the life of the party because women ‘like’ those guys. You do it because that is who you are. You do not become Don Juan because that is what women crave, you do it because it is who you are
I am not asking you to do this or that with your life, but I am only asking you to pause for a moment and think. What is life to you? Stop and look.
If you do not have a woman, ask yourself, “Am I focusing on minimizing the pains of approaching, dating, and loving or am I focused on obtaining the pleasures of such wonder?”
Most people will never start a business because nine out of ten companies fail. But those that win, in the end, even if they fail at first keep trying because they are motivated by the pleasure of getting the business, not by minimizing pain and insecurity.
And many guys will never get a girl they want because they realize they will fail more often then they succeed. But those that win in the end do so by focusing on the pleasures of success rather than the pain of failure.
So if you have no women, it means you think you are better then what you can get. You can either go out to show the world what you are, or you can come up with another ‘daily excuse’. In order for that happy tomorrow to occur, you need to start today.
You set the rules for your life. It will have as much pain, joy, and success you think you deserve. The world now begins with you. What is your world going to be?
What is a technique with woman but the fundamental denial of self? We are taught to act this way, do that, then this, and that over there, and perhaps we get the girl. But what was the cost? (There is ALWAYS a cost). By using some ‘techniques’ on the Internet, you never know if *you* can get women. Yes, techniques sell well because they are ‘painless’. If anyone tells you something in life will be painless, they are, somehow, a salesman. Nevertheless, techniques are not an addition to your character but often a denial of it. No, being a Nice Guy does mean crash and burn. Rather than facing up to the hard questions of life and our own masculinitiy, it is much simpler and easier to adopt a series of techniques.
Self-improvement is readily a good thing. But a very big problem (or should I say cancer?) occurs when self-improvement becomes a ‘security’. The idea that improving yourself, in this or that way, will boost your chances. But the problem is that it never stops. Go into a gym and you will find many single guys working out. They will remain there because they always think they have to be perfect to get the ladies! Watch television and you will see ads implying that if you wear this shampoo, you will have this social life, eat this brand of rice, and your romantic life will look like this, on and on and on. Use this product and you will be “perfect” it implies. Well, perfect is boring.
A ‘security’ is an act or thought that makes you eliminate mistakes. It is one thing to foresee mistakes (after all, you can’t just marry any girl), but it is disaster to life to deny them. You want misery in your life? Keep sucking up ‘securities’ to mold and sculpt your life.
I cannot speak for others, but I will tell you the BIG reason why I became successful with women. I was willing to lose girls when I had no girls, and I was willing to spend the time when I had no time.
If you don’t have money, how can you be scared of losing money? And if you don’t have women, how can you be scared of losing them? It is like you’re fighting for the scraps, literally SCRAPS, of joy while your dreams sit on the table, rotting and growing cold with time.
Get that child’s perspective once again of feeling that the world was new when you were young. You are exploring with love and life, not making ‘mistakes’. And even the worst mistake is preferable to a lifetime embracing the greatest of ‘securities’. The zest of life is in the roll of the dice.
So look at your love life. Is it a life of ‘securities’ or is it a life of ‘mistakes’? Is it a ‘calculus of action’ or spontaneous?
Look at your financial life, social life, and even intellectual life. Are they leashed to ‘securities’ or are they free, wild, and allowed to explore?
So why do most men fail when talking with women? It is because they are using words, not feelings. You do not ‘talk’ to chicks, you express feelings. Think of a baby. The baby doesn’t know what you are saying. The baby only cares about your tone of voice. You could say in a babyish voice, “Armageddon is going to fry us all today!” and the baby will smile in glee not because of the TONE but because of the FEELING the tone rides on.
1) Be comfortable and confident to go get ANY girl at ANY time no matter your financial/material situation.
2) Know what you TRULY want in life, have a PURPOSE or a PASSION, which is a stronger tether to keep you from being pulled by exploiters.
3) Be able to say NO to any girl and don’t take CR@P from anyone.
4) Create an identity that doesn’t depend on women or female approval (father, husband, boyfriend, player, all are insignificant since they depend on women to exist).
5) Keep investing time in yourself. Don’t $hit your entire youth chasing girls.
Consistency is the most important thing to success… in anything. Some say, “Poo poo! I only asked out one girl this week. I come to this board and hear a guy asking out a hundred chicks!” Stop it. It is more important to make it a habit. Any fool can go talk to a hundred chicks in a week, such as at a large gathering or something. But very few can keep it consistent. Even if you ask out one girl a week, that is 52 girls in a year! That is more girls asked out in a year than most guys ask out in a lifetime! The consistency is all!
There is no method except yourself.
Dreams are more powerful than facts. Imagination is stronger than knowledge, the myth more powerful than history, and passion will always go further than experience. The final word to the book of science is that the world can be made to whatever we want, that the real world is not outside you but within, which gives us all the power to begin the world over again.
The difference between mistakes and experience is this: mistakes are made when one has not achieved his desires whereas experience is made when the desires are achieved. If you still are making mistakes, keep making them, and at some point all those mistakes will morph into “experience”.
Exchanging self-centeredness for chivalry (selflessness), men gain enormously in self-esteem. The vanity of the chivalrous, even those who proclaim utmost humility, outdoes the vanity of the self-centered.
Sexuality extends outside the bedroom. Did sexuality exist in films of the 50s and downward? There you find the greatest depictions of romance (of how the tension builds and builds just for a kiss), of plot (epics), and of men (John Wayne). Imagine if people, today, externalized their sexuality outside in the same way. Rather than cocooning our sexuality in the bedroom, it would now be part of every waking moment. Let society become sexualized (as opposed to eroticized) once again.
Education used to be attached to sexuality, that to be educated was to be a Man. The University used to be Mankind’s Armory against Nature. Mathematics (how far? How fast? How long? What shape?), Biology (What relationship does this form of Nature have with this form?), Art (reflecting Nature back at itself), History (chronicling Nature’s path), and Law (how to deal with Human Nature? including philosophy, poetry, etc.) The University has turned into an expensive adolescent summer camp.
Now, education, being de-sexualized, is pure trivia. You bubble in circles in a scantron, regurgitate the book or paraphrase the professor’s words back to him in an essay, or memorize phylum, orders, and species of taxonomic nonsense for scientific labs. You procrastinate when studying because you know that it is not knowledge, just trivia. Compare that to your eagerness to learn the information here. Here, there is no trivia as everyone knows the knowledge is connected to Nature and to life. This sense of decline in education would be corrected if the departments (especially the Humanities) stopped being trivia, stopped being political, and embraced the warrior spirit against Nature that the fields originated with.
Boredom is where all evils enter the world. And when a person is bored, he is bored with himself. Interesting people, in their daily lives, are never bored as they find everything interesting.
Have you ever noticed how some people spend their lives trying to get loved more by strangers than their community? It is like they desire to be some celebrity with no real friends (but with fans). This ‘celebrity’ lifestyle ends up fake. When you hear of singers or actors getting busted for drugs, it often isn’t because that is who they are, but they’re trying to live up to this persona. If a celebrity warns friends, when they meet, not to tell the paparazzi, and the paparazzi show up, who told? Probably the celebrity himself. Their lives are a script.
Compare the above to Don Juan. Many foolishly think the Don Juan is the ‘celebrity’ with women and that female strangers will instantly respond to you on the street, on the elevator, or wherever. This is a silly life, as all these strangers will never really give a damn about you (as you start to do stranger and stranger things to fit into the ‘persona’). Don’t forget your own community. Rather than go for ‘instant hook-ups’ at bars and clubs, try expanding your social circle. Eventually, you’ll get circles and larger circles and even larger circles of women coming after you. These ladies will tell their lady friends about you and the effect just ripples. Even BondJamesBond admits to doing this. This increasing of social circle, of your community, is far far more rewarding than being an introvert who practically costumes his physical appearance, his social self, his emotional self, and (dare I say) his spiritual self for some dumb female stranger who wouldn’t care if he dropped dead the next day!
The more of your ‘world’ that is unleashed, the more ‘order’ comes to your life.
The truly smart aren’t those who read tons of books and words. The smart are those who can read their own heart and mind.
Some people approach this forum with the Nice Guy essence still intact and say, “Tell us what we must do to get the women.” And a cluster of voices flow to say, “Improve your voice.” “Improve your muscles.” “Improve your ‘confidence’.” “Improve your wardrobe.” These are all very fine and good, gentlemen, and if the Nice Guy adopts them, he certainly will be getting a different response. Yet, he is still stuck to the forum. In essence, he is still a thing and contains no human uniqueness. This is why I find it impossible to ADVISE someone on what they ‘ought’ to do. Rather, we can only show HOW Nature works and perhaps some examples. If a guy comes here for people to instruct him on how to act, what personality he should have, how to dress, how to talk, and so on, does he remain a guy? He still sounds like a ‘thing’ with no self-volition.
The greater the writer, the less is his philosophy.
I want you to consider something… that the real world does not exist… that there is only *your* world. Matter is formless and can only be created through form. To live is to form. Once a man has embraced his sexuality, it is then that he creates woman. Your desire is the spirit that brings women to life in your world.
Children are just another thing to talk about. Women love to talk, as we all know, and as you say it’s their connection with the world – it makes them alive.